


After all this time

by Honeybeezzx



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, JJ (Outer Banks) Deserves Better, JJ (Outer Banks) Needs a Hug, JJ is a kook, Jiara - Freeform, Kooks (Outer Banks), Love Confessions, Post-Outer Banks Season 1, Secret Crush, Summer, The Pogues (Outer Banks) Fight, no pogue-on-pogue macking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24558265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honeybeezzx/pseuds/Honeybeezzx
Summary: The pogues found the gold but summer ended and they split up. Pope and Sarah went to college. John B went with Sarah and Kiara wanted to travel which meant they all left JJ behind in the Outer Banks.One year later Pope, Sarah, John B, and Kiara returns to the Cut during summer vacation, just to find JJ turned into what he hated most - a kook.…Story is set after 1x9 airplane scene. Rafe was charged for the murder of Sheriff Peterkin after John B for a brief moment was accused. The pogues managed to get away with some of the gold while Ward escaped on his plane with the rest of it - he has now disappeared.
Relationships: JJ & Kiara (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron/John B. Routledge
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	1. Going home

**Author's Note:**

> The pogues reunite at The Chateau after being apart for one year. JJ isn't there and concern is building as none of them have heard from him since they'd left. Kiara decides that they should go check on him, but in the time they had been gone, he'd change.

She felt weird being back in the Outer Banks like it was a foreign place. She had just traveled most of Asia, and suddenly she was back home, although it didn’t feel like home. It felt like forever since she and the Pogues spent all their time together just hanging out, smoking, drinking, and oh, figuring out the mystery about John B’s dad and finding the gold.

It was John B’s idea to spend the summer in Outer Banks before splitting up again for next semester. They'd arranged to meet at The Chateau to hang out just like they used to. Kiara had been in contact with him almost every day, and she felt like she and John B were the only ones not drifting apart. 

Kiara had just landed from her trip home from Thailand and a couple of hours later she was almost ready to step off the ferry and head to the Cut. She looked around, tense, as the ferry hit the shore - eager to see a familiar face. She dragged her bags down the ramp through the boat’s exit, her back slightly bent forward from the heavy weight of the rucksack.

“Kie!” A familiar voice shouted. She turned to the voice startled, and she didn’t see him at first because of the tiredness from the long trip. 

“John B” she broke out in pure happiness as she hadn't seen him in a whole year. She threw her bags on the ground and ran directly into his arms. He lifted her up from the ground and swung her around. She giggled against his ear making him smile even more. He put her down gently and returned her feet to the ground. They let go of each other, and she took a step back to create more space between them, overwhelmed by suddenly seeing him after all this time.

“How have you been?” She asked breathlessly. Her bags were heavy, and John B swinging her around had made her lose her breath.

He scratched the back of his head and answered hesitantly “I’ve been good. You know… college”

She didn’t know how college was since she hadn’t gone or had even planned to. Her eyes were slightly confused by his vague answer, and she ended up just nodding and smiling as if she understood exactly what he meant.

“And you?” He asked.

“I’ve been good too. I've done some volunteering at different places, clearing trash from beaches in Indonesia, participating in sustainability workshops in Bali, volunteered at The Giant Panda Center in China, and best of all shoveled elephant shit in Thailand.”

“Yeah, I can definitely smell that” he teased, waving his hand in front of his nose to prove his point.

She shoved him away while acting offended, even though she had missed the constant insulting comments from her friend.

He didn't let her push him away and forced her into one of his warm hugs.

He rubbed her head with his knuckles, making her hair all messy “That’s my Kie. Always tryna' save the world”

“Ew” she pouted “you're being sentimental and weird”

Her grumpy mood made him let go of her with a gentle shove.

“You’re such a bitch”

She smirked “I've missed you too.”

...

He pulled to the curb in front of Kiara’s house. He turned off the engine and went to help her carry the heavy luggage to the porch. She jumped out of the car and looked around to brush up the memory of this place. Everything was exactly like it was before she left but it felt so different - so empty. It made her wish she’d never left.

“I can’t believe you still have this wreck of a car” she patted the rusty van on the bonnet.

“What?” He exclaimed.

He crossed his arms, offended at her comment about the most loyal van on the island. She glanced at it with disgust. It was old and not very environmentally friendly, but almost every memory with her friends involved this shitty, slightly falling apart, van. Her glance softened and a shy smile formed on her full lips. The memories and her deep affection towards this car was the only thing stopping her from commenting on how John B should use some of the gold to buy a better and more “green” car.

“Don’t you dare insult her again. She’s the love of my life”

She raised her eyebrows “I thought Sarah was?”

He looked around with his bewildered John B-look, knowing he had lured himself into a trap.

“Wait. Fuck. Please don’t tell her"

She walked towards him while laughing affectionately about how dumb he always was. She dug her fingers into his thick brown hair and started to ruffle it.

“Stop it,” he grumbled and pushed her away.

She laughed “don’t worry John B, your secret’s safe"

She grabbed her bags from the trunk and John B quickly reached out to help. He carried the heavy rucksack while Kiara took the smaller hand-luggage. Kiara dug out the key from her pocket and inserted it in the keyhole. Before she could turn the key, the door opened from the inside. Her dad stood in the doorway with a big smile on his lips. He had probably heard the commotion they had made. “Anne, she’s home” he yelled over his shoulder, before pulling his daughter into his arms. 

“Dad” she mumbled into his shoulder. A few tears fell from their eyes, but they both quickly wiped them away, neither of them too fond of showing their emotions.

“You should have called us. We could have picked you up somewhere” Her mother appeared in the doorway and joined them in their family reunion.

“I’ve missed you guys so much” Kiara sniffled.

John B still held her heavy bag but tried not to make it seem that it was that heavy. He didn’t want to ruin their moment. Kiara pulled away slowly and turned her gaze to John B. Her dad made eye contact with him and his gentle look turned hard.

“Let me take that” he grabbed the rucksack out of his hands and waved him off the porch of the Carrera house.

Kiara sent him a smile full of compassion, because even after a year of being away for college, he effortlessly returned to his role in society, yet again the troubled orphan with a tainted past. She just hoped he wouldn’t get back into the mess he’d left behind; drugs, shootings and violence - and once, for a horrible second, accusations of a murder he didn’t commit.

Luckily, Sheriff Peterkin’s actual murderer was found guilty not long after, but it put a strain on Sarah and John B’s relationship, especially after it was revealed that it was Sarah’s father who had accused his son-in-law of the murder his son committed.

However, the accusation stuck, and John B’s reputation suffered a great deal. He had never truly been able to escape the judgemental stares and not-so-quiet whispers of people on the street. Maybe this time around it would be different.

“I’ll see you later?” She asked, and John B nodded with a tiny smile, oblivious to her worries.

“Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Carrera” He turned around and walked to his van, knowing all too well that he wasn’t welcome. He didn’t look back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kiara turned to her parents with an angry look in her eyes. Her outburst was shocked them, and especially her father wasn’t content with her protecting her friend.

“He’s always involved in every bad thing happening on this island, I don’t want him pulling you down with him”

“He’s not dragging me into anything! He’s one of my best friends. I can always count on him, and you judging him says more about you than it does about him. He lost his parents, he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit, a lot of people distanced themselves from him, and he can’t afford to lose anything else. He can’t lose his friends, and _I_ can’t lose him”

She stormed off into the house, leaving her baggage on the porch.

“Kiara!” Her mom yelled.

No one answered.

...

Kiara snuck out later. She couldn’t deal with her parents’ questions about where she would be, or who she was going to be _with._

She was on her way to John B’s place, which her parents definitely didn’t need to know. When she got close to the house she could hear sounds of other people in the backyard. Beneath the familiar voices and the laughter, she could hear the crackling from the fire and some low R’n'B vibe music. 

“Have you talked to Kie?” She recognized the sound of Sarah's voice. God, she'd missed her.

The question made her freeze on the spot, too curious for the answer to interrupt the conversation.

“Not really-“ she identified the voice as Pope’s. 

She leaned against the wood of the house, holding her breath even though they wouldn’t be able to hear her anyways.

“Things got strange between us. She kissed me... and suddenly we had the gold and went our separate ways.”

“Would you kiss her again?” This time it was John B who spoke.

She could imagine the grin on his face, always asking the questions that everyone were thinking but too polite to ask.

“I mean... Yeah. Why not?”

Her hand flew to her mouth. She had totally forgotten about the kiss, and now everything would be weird, and awkward, and just not the same. Why the fuck did she kiss him? She didn’t even like him like that, it was more out of pity. He had given her a declaration of love after one fucking joint she told him not to smoke. Guilt was choking her from the inside of her body. She had to talk to him and apologize.

“Hey guys!” she called and walked towards her friends. She was happy to see them again, even though she was afraid things would get awkward. She shrugged the anxiety off and ran towards Sarah to hug her.

“Hey bestie,” Sarah said.

The hug was tight and it was easy to tell the girls had missed each other immensely. They pulled away, and Kiara went to greet Pope.

The way Pope looked at her, she could see the embarrassment in his eyes. They gazed at each other, eyes meeting as they shared the memory of their kiss. He gave her a little smile to lighten the awkward tension between them.

“Hey, you,” she said and hugged him.

“What’s up, Kie,” he mumbled.

They pulled away. For a moment, she thought, it seemed like he didn’t recognize her.

He was probably expecting the same Kiara who left with the others a year ago, but even though her appearance was the same… she’d changed.

She quickly moved to John B, bending down to hug him as well. 

“Don’t want to cheat you out of a hug.”

He grinned “Two in one day. I’m a lucky man”

She looked around, brows furrowed and confusion clear in her deep brown eyes.

“Where’s JJ?” She asked, eyes scanning the backyard as if he would suddenly appear out of nowhere.

“You don’t know?” Pope asked.

“Kie, don’t freak out,” John B hesitated.

His comment made anxiety build high in her throat.

“Where is he? Is he okay?"

She turned her nervous eyes to Pope. Right now all she wanted was to find JJ and make sure he was okay.

“None of us have heard from him. John B, Sarah and I went to see him earlier, and he kind of doesn’t want to see us right now”

Sarah crossed her arms “That's a nice way of saying it” she huffed, “He basically told us to fuck off."

“Haven’t you spoken to him all year? Why doesn’t he want to talk to you?” Kiara asked, eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

“Well, I tried to text him half a year ago, but he didn’t respond and I sorta’ let it go” John B confessed.

“Yeah well, guess I was too caught up in college to ask him how he was doing,” Pope said, and his eyes dropped guiltily to the ground.

She couldn’t believe her ears. His best friends didn’t even try to contact him and ask him how he was doing. She imagined herself being in JJ's shoes, where suddenly all of her friends left her behind and didn’t even bother to try to get in touch with her. They abandoned him.

“That’s all? You tried _once_ and didn’t think something was up when he didn’t answer?” She raised her voice, frustrated. In a passing thought she noted how much she reminded herself of her mom. 

“Sorry” John B rolled his eyes at her.

“John B” Sarah said in a soft voice, and he crossed his arms with a quiet huff.

Pope leaned forward in his camping chair and gazed up at Kiara who glared back. “What about you?” He asked accusingly. “What is your excuse for not getting in touch with JJ? No wifi?”

Kiara flushed hotly as guilt washed over her. In her haste to find someone to blame for JJ’s absence, she had forgotten to ask herself what she could have done.

It made her whole body ache, thinking of how she just left him. No goodbye, she just... left. Pope bit his lip before muttering out a soft, “sorry."

She almost crumbled into a free chair, gratefully taking the beer John B offered her. She cracked it open and swallowed a few greedy mouthfuls. She closed her eyes for a second.

“He’ll come around,” Pope said, but it didn’t quite sound like he believed it.

Kiara took another sip of beer, this one slower and more controlled. Silence filled the air between them.

She kept thinking of the day she left. JJ knew she was going to leave for Asia at some point, but he didn’t know that it was that exact day. She should have said goodbye. No, she should’ve asked him to come with her.

She knew it would’ve been the right thing to do.

Yet, she’d left him behind, just like the others.

She downed the rest of her beer and felt the can crumble in her grasp.

...

They sat around the fire for a couple of hours, talking about their time in their first year in college. John B and Kiara both held a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. 

“The parties are wild” John B laughed, shaking his head like he almost didn’t believe what he’d seen with his own eyes.

“People are stripping everywhere, running around naked, they drink way too much and dance to the same horrible songs everyone sing along to but doesn’t even like. And then there is beer pong, don’t even get me started on that game. Love that shit"

Sarah shoved his shoulder while rolling her eyes. “Don’t act like you hate it."

“I don’t look. I swear. Just saying… It’s weird."

Sarah grinned “Well, I find it weird how you’re not tired of drinking beer yet. Do you even remember how water tastes?"

John B threw her a grin. “Nope. Worse than beer, I’d imagine."

…

They shared stories and experiences as the night grew darker around them. Even if Kiara couldn’t relate to the crazy partying or the stressful study-sessions, she told them about her time in Asia, how she worked harder than she’d ever done before, but sometimes still felt like it just wasn’t _enough._

It was as if the earlier awkwardness had been lost between one beer and the next, and now it almost felt normal, like this was how it was meant to be.

Well, almost.

“I once saw-“ Pope began, but Kiara cut him off sharply. “We should check on him.”

John B and Pope's glance met. They seemed to have a conversation with their eyes, but she was too tipsy to understand it.

“JJ, I mean,” she clarified needlessly. “We should make sure he’s okay.”

"I don't know if it's the right time," Pope said gently.

"Yeah, it's in the middle of the night, Kie" John B agreed.

Kiara frowned, half-empty can forgotten in her hand. “It doesn’t have to be _now,”_ she argued. “But sooner rather than later, I mean."

"I agree with Pope, now is not a good time,” Sarah chimed in, her expression tense even in the sparse light.

Kiara looked at her, disappointed. “Why?"

“It just isn’t."

Something about her tone made Kiara raise her eyebrows questioningly. When she looked to see how the guys reacted, she found similar expressions of confusion on their faces.

“What do you mean by that?” John B frowned. His cigarette glowed orange between his fingers.

“Nothing,” Sarah denied, shaking her head. “It’s just a feeling.” Her fingers tapped an erratic rhythm against her thigh.

Pope scoffed. “Spit it out, Sarah."

She looked to her boyfriend, who gave her a pleading look. “You gotta tell us what you know, we’re all worried about him."

She heaved a sigh and curled her fingers around another beer. “My friend sent me this about an hour ago,” she admitted, pulling her phone from her pocket with one hand. A few seconds later, she turned the screen around to show the others. “Press play,” she muttered.

Kiara tapped the screen harder than necessary.

The video was shaky and the person filming seemed to be wasted. In the beginning it was hard to see what was going on, but it quickly became clear that a massive party was going on. The screen showed people scattered around a huge backyard, abandoned cups thrown carelessly on the lawn. The scene shifted to a hot tub, steam rising into the night. 

A figure came into focus, wet strands of blonde hair obscuring most of the guy’s face, but his blue eyes peeked through the strands.

"JJ” Kiara breathed, leaning closer to the small screen.

He was leaning back against the edge of the hot tub with a cocky smirk on his face, arms spread wide along the top of it. He had a pretty girl under each of them, biceps flexing as he pulled the two blondes closer to his chest. The girls giggled, each of them pressing eagerly into his touch.

One of them lifted a cup to his lips, and he swallowed the drink with a wince. It left a shine at the corner of his mouth, and with a coy smile, one of the girls wiped it away with an elegant finger.

Pope whistled admiringly.

“What’s going on?” Kiara said as she rose from her chair. Something felt off about the scene in front of them. Maybe it was the way JJ’s eyes were glazed over, from alcohol or something harder, or the cold eyes of the beautiful girls against him, but it seemed _wrong._

“It looks like he’s having a great time,” Pope grinned, shrugging carelessly. “What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Kiara spat. “He looks fucked out of his mind!"

None of the others said anything.

“So?” John B asked. “We’ve all been there.”

Kiara let out a frustrated noise. 

"Fine! Then I'll go by myself”

She stomped away, well knowing they would never let her go alone. As expected John B, Pope and Sarah caught up to her, having no choice but to support her. Having three overprotective best friends sometimes had its advantages.

...

They arrived at the party, the loud music echoing in their ears. No people were visible from the front of the house, but the noise from the backyard easily made its way through the night.

Their glances traveled through the enormous backyard, trying to find their friend somewhere.

“Guys,” John B said with a voice so gentle, he was almost afraid of saying the next sentence. “There’s beer pong”

Kiara turned to him with a look saying _are you serious?_

“Nevermind” he whispered while trying not to get distracted by the awful shots he could’ve nailed if he was the one playing. 

Kiara suddenly found their friend since she could identify the long blond, still wet from the hot tub, hair as JJ's. He was wearing a white shirt roughly rolled up to his elbows, and some expensive kook sandals instead of his old worn ones. Kiara and Sarah looked at each other with the same concerned look. Kiara was first of all shocked by his choice of clothing, and second of all, worried about how he had been doing without them.

JJ regarded his party with a proud smirk before taking a drag from what Kiara guessed was a joint. He was standing with a couple of friends Kiara didn’t recognize. A burst of cocky laughter left his lips, as he blew out the smoke from his lungs. Suddenly his smile faded as his gaze caught his former friends walking towards him. Kiara was too far away to see his face properly, but she could tell from his reaction that he wasn’t happy.

Then, a big arrogant grin appeared on his lips, as he left his new friends behind to come to greet his previous ones. 

A brief glance at Pope’s face revealed that he wasn’t too fond of the look JJ was wearing. John B was all too quiet, and Sarah had pressed herself against his back, hiding behind his bigger body.

“I’m not dealing with him,” she said, tense.

JJ stopped in front of them and gave his best welcoming smile. Sarah rolled her eyes at his attitude since all of them knew that they obviously weren’t welcome.

“To what do I owe the pleasure? Did you all suddenly get cured of amnesia and remember me?” He raised an eyebrow.

His look shifted between John B, Sarah, and Pope, but he must have felt the angry look Kiara sent him because he turned to look at her. His eyes softened a bit when their glances collided. Her cheeks were burning, surely from the alcohol. Right? She made him slightly uncomfortable, as he didn’t expect her to be here. The last thing he knew was that she was in Asia. He didn’t know where precisely she was or what she was doing. She shouldn’t be here, but he also knew that she would come back at some point. She’d come back… today.

“See you brought more company this time,” he said and instantly removed his eyes from her. He drove his hands through his hair, covering his face for a moment. When he looked back up he’d abruptly regained his confidence.

No one knew what to say. Neither of them had thought to return and find JJ as a self-absorbed kook. A drunk girl broke through the uncomfortable silence. She tripped over her own feet and bumped into JJ. He caught her by gripping her waist and didn’t even get mad at her when she spilled half of her drink all over him.

“Sorry, hun,” she chuckled. Kiara gave the wasted girl a bothered look, the girl was doubtless way too drunk and besides too handsy.

“This is Sierra. She’s taught everyone this thing called Chandelier. She goes to college too, might leave me at the end of the summer as well"

Even though he laughed, there wasn’t anything funny about what he said.

“You knew we were going to college,” John B said calmly.

JJ shook his head and threw his arms despairingly “Yeah, but I didn’t know you were going to forget all about me. You didn’t even try to call”

“You could’ve called too you know,” Pope accused.

JJ let go of the girl, who was too drunk to understand what was going on. She tumbled away and found a couple of her friends playing beer pong. John B looked longingly after her as she took place at the beer pong table.

JJ continued their quarrel by saying “I just wanted to give y’all some space. You went to college and that shit is tough, the courses, the studying, all the social events, making friends, parties, sports, all of that. I didn’t want to hold you back, and I didn’t want you to worry. Seem like none of you did anyway.”

His eyes met Kiara's. There was something between them - tense, palpable. He was quick to look away, and turn his gaze to the others.

“Well, that was depressing,” he said.

Kiara hated him for how easily he avoided putting himself in a vulnerable position. He broke the atmosphere by saying something dumb and callous, or simply just looking away to focus on keeping the brash approach.

"Thank you for stopping by, have a safe journey home, don’t come back”

He said the last part without the cocky smile like he actually meant it. Just for a fleeting moment - so quick that she was shocked when it happened - Kiara thought that she had ruined their friendship. Right now there was nothing else to do than to go home and let JJ have the party he wanted. They could talk to him tomorrow when they'd all sobered up. 

Once again they turned their backs on him.

Kiara shouldn’t have left him in the first place, she knew this, yet again she did nothing but leave him to gaze after her.

She didn’t look back.


	2. I needed you to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time the pogues had been apart had definitely left its marks, making the atmosphere between the friends a little too tense sometimes. It doesn’t feel like the old times especially because they're missing JJ. Kiara is determined to get JJ back and reunite the group. Old feelings are awakened.

This morning Kiara went to the family restaurant with her father. It was a long time since she’d been at The Wreck, but everything was like it used to be, which her father said was important because the locals liked that it looked the same. There was also always the same meals on the menu even though Kiara had tried to sneak in a few new dishes once in a while. Her father always shoved her aside, preaching about how things were better when they'd stayed the same. He didn’t like change or spontaneous decisions, probably the reason why his soft eyes always turned cold, whenever her friends entered the restaurant. 

Today was no different. The doorbell rang, announcing the presence of a customer. Kiara was too busy refilling a table’s drinks to greet them.

“Kiara” her father called.

She put the glasses on a tray and walked to the dining room. On her way there, she passed by the customer. She locked eyes with her friend.

Mr. Carrera gritted his teeth “You’ve got a visitor”

Pope stood respectfully with a great distance to the counter her father stood behind, hands on his hips. Pope fidgeted with his hands. 

She gave him a tense little smile “one second, then I’ll be there.”

In a rush she went to the table with the drinks, before heading back behind the restaurant counter. She gave her father a quick smile before shoving him away, making him return to the kitchen.

Pope let out a heavy sigh as if he could finally breathe.

“Hey” She mumbled.

“You didn’t answer the group chat”

“Sorry, I’ve been here all morning, spending time with my dad”

He nodded and looked around in the almost empty restaurant, only a few customers occupying a couple of tables. She kept an eye on the customers in the restaurant, hoping one of the tables would soon need anything. Maybe her father was needing help in the kitchen, she should probably go check?

“We’re hanging out at John B’s later, you coming?” He woke her from her creative thoughts on how to naturally disappear. She felt weird being alone with Pope, after she heard him tell John B that he wouldn’t mind if they kissed again. It wasn’t Pope’s fault that she felt this way around him. She just kept beating herself up over taking advantage of his vulnerability in that moment.

“Sure” she hesitated.

She took a cloth from beneath the counter, wetting it in the sink at the bar behind her. She twisted the cloth from excess water, and started to wipe down the perfectly clean countertop. Pope watched her with confusion in his eyes, while the awkward silence settled around them.

“So” he spoke hesitantly “When do you get off?”

She threw the cloth in the sink behind her, she knew she looked stupid, cleaning an already spotless surface. Instead she turned her back against him, still avoiding his eyes and the guilt his gaze brought along.

“I don’t know” she said, starting to unstack the glasses just to stack them exactly like they were before. Her cheeks turned red, she knew that she was acting fucking ridiculous. She let out a small sigh, and prepared herself to look him in the eyes. She quickly turned to him, like a band aid torn off a wound.

“Is everything alright?” He frowned.

She ignored his question, to give his former one a better answer.

“I can leave in an hour or so”

He nodded with a shy smile “Cool. John B and I will be here to pick you up” 

She forced her lips to smile. “Great."

He returned the soft grin and walked out of the restaurant.

Kiara let out a sigh, shaking her head. She went to the kitchen, almost wanting to hit herself in the head with one of the pans. It was hard for her to cope with the awkward tension between her and Pope, and she always managed to make a fool out of herself.

...

An hour later, John B and Pope pulled up to the restaurant to pick up Kiara. She was nervous about seeing Pope, after making a total fool out of herself earlier. When see got in the van and their eyes met, she could tell that Pope knew that something was wrong. She knew that she had to talk to him about that kiss, so she could finally move on and get rid of the guilt she felt.

“We have to pick Sarah up as well” John B said from the driver’s seat.

Kiara and Pope sat in the back of the van together, both fiddling with their thumbs. John B would be able to hear the conversation but she didn’t mind. She knew that Pope had revealed their kiss because she heard them talk about it last night at The Chateau. Besides, John B and Kiara were extremely close and they could always talk about whatever, whenever.

As the words worked their way up her throat, her lips slightly apart, a big breath taken, she exhaled and sealed her lips, telling herself that now was maybe not the time.

She started drumming her fingers against her thighs. Pope looked at her with a frown. She kept drumming on her thighs now with her palms, the noise steadily climbing.

“Can you stop?” Pope glared.

She stopped the drumming and folded her hands instead, to keep them from shaking.

John B crossed the invisible border from the pogue's side of the island to the kook's side. Kiara looked out the window, seeing that the grass definitely wasn’t greener on this side. She knew all about what the life of a kook was like.

They drove past the golf course, seeing some kooks playing.

“Slow down,” Kiara said from the backseat.

John B stepped slightly on the brakes before asking “What is it?”

Pope leaned forward against the window, squeezing his eyes “Is that JJ?”

Kiara and Pope shared a worried glance before looking out of the window again. They almost didn't recognize him in his fancy clothes and with a golf club in his hands. JJ used to say that golf was lame and only for rich, middle-aged men, but that was of course before he’d even tried it out.

They drove past him, Kiara’s eyes following him for as long as she was able to. They arrived at Sarah’s, where she waited in front of her house. She got in the backseat of the van with a wide smile.

“Hey friends” she greeted.

“Hey, you,” Kiara smiled happily, relieved that she no longer had to sit in awkward silence with Pope.

John B turned the van around to drive back to his place. They drove past the golf course again, and Kiara and Sarah both glanced out of the window, while Pope looked down at his hands.

“That’s JJ?” Sarah asked.

Kiara sighed “It’s hard to believe right?”

Sarah nodded, lines forming between her eyebrows.

“I don’t understand why he is that angry with us. I can understand how sad he must have been when we didn’t call him, but he didn’t call either. We’re all to blame” Kiara said.

“Kie, he has his reasons to be mad at us. I mean, I get it, we all had something going on and he was the only one left without a purpose” John B said, defensive of his best friend.

John B and JJ had a different relationship than Pope and JJ had. They were closer in general and JJ loved to hang onto John B’s shoulder, sometimes he would even place a kiss on his cheek. The two of them had a unique friendship with each other. Pope and JJ were good friends too, but they had always had an unexplainable distance towards each other that Kiara couldn’t explain.

“What did you expect Kie? That he would just sit around, missing us, waiting for us to come back? We were gone for a whole year. We can’t blame him for making new friends.” Pope said casually. The distance between him and JJ must had been the reason why he had this laid-back approach to the loss of their friend.

“But, kooks?” Kiara said.

Pope looked back and forth from Kiara and Sarah “Technically, you are kooks too” 

“Nothing wrong with being a kook” Sarah’s glare was slightly offended, eyes locked on Kiara.

They drove the rest of the way in silence.

…

They settled down at The Chateau, sitting outside so they could smoke. As Kiara took another drag from the blunt, she felt elevated like she suddenly was lighter, the train of thoughts not weighing down on her shoulders anymore. Her head was aching and currently a horrible place to be. She took another drag of the blunt, before passing it to Sarah, who had snuggled into John B’s lap. 

“I’ve heard there's free beer at the beach” Sarah said, exhaling smoke from her lungs. 

She passed the blunt to John B, who looked at her, brows drawn together.

“Free beer?” He repeated.

She nodded “I think someone’s having a party”

Kiara's gaze was suddenly going distant, as she thought that maybe JJ would be there. She would have the opportunity to talk to him, which hopefully would be more successful this time. Kiara thought they should go check it out, but she waited for the others to share their opinion.

“I thought you said you were sick of beer?” John B said teasingly, pulling gently on a strand of Sarah’s hair.

“I am, but I thought you would like it”

He brought her into a tight hug, letting Sarah plant a kiss on his cheek.

Kiara turned to Pope, since he hadn’t said a thing. He just sat in his chair, silence making a barricade around him. Her head tilted to the side, wondering where his mind was at. Kiara turned to John B and Sarah, who shared a confused look, worrying if Pope was doing alright. John B rubbed his lower lip with his finger.

“Well, I’m in” he said, breaking the silence between them.

“Me too” Kiara said.

Pope shrugged and finally spoke “Fine with me”

The atmosphere around them was silent and a bit weird. Kiara had never felt this awkwardness around her closest friends, but they had also been apart for a year. She was naive to think that everything would be the same when they met again. Their time apart had definitely left its marks.

Being the happy-go-lucky girl she was, Sarah broke the silence by jumping up from the chair she and John B had shared. “Let’s go then!” She exclaimed with a bright smile. She took John B’s hand, pulling him up from the chair. “Come on!”

…

They arrived at the beach where the party was in full swing. The dark night was colder than usual because of the wind, the white foam from the waves hurling onto the chilled sand with great strength. Even with the music going on in the background, you could hear the waves crashing against the shore, the wind blowing lightly in their hair.

There was a surprisingly strong attendance at the party, with the weather taken into account. The beach was packed with people dancing, drinking, and hanging out by the beer keg.

John B led the group to the keg, handing Kiara and Pope a cup of beer before getting himself one. They touched glasses saying “cheers!” before downing their cups and refilling again. Kiara’s eyes darted around the beach, desperately seeking a pair of crystal blue eyes belonging to JJ. For a moment she looked slightly panicked. Her eyes searched the crowd but then locked with Sarah’s. She sent her a wide smile, trying to relieve the stress in her eyes.

Her gaze shifted to JJ talking to a couple of his friends. He had a huge smile glued on his lips, laughing at something that couldn't be that funny. Their glance met and he looked at her without emotion as if they were strangers. All she wanted right now was to talk to him, but the way he turned his back on her told her that he wasn’t interested. She looked back at her friends, head slightly hanging and with baffled eyes.

“I’m gonna go look for something other than beer. I saw some girls with bottles of liquor further down the beach” Sarah said. 

Strong liquor sounded exactly like what Kiara needed right know. “I’m going with you” she said with a tense smile.

…

The party was loud, but suddenly you were able to hear a lot of yelling over the music and the sound of the waves. It wasn’t the party-yelling there had been all the time. It was more like an aggressive shouting, heating up the chilly night. 

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked confused, as people started to form a circle further up the beach. Kiara shook her head in confusion. The girls rushed to the crowd, pushing themselves in front of other people to see what was going on. They found John B and some other guy in the middle of the circle. Kiara thought she recognized the guy as one JJ had been hanging out with at the party last night.

John B curled his hand into a fist and aimed for the front of the guy's nose. The guy managed to block his attack and John B’s hand connected with his hand instead. The guy grabbed John B and threw him onto the ground, holding him down with his weight while punching him right on his cheekbone. 

“Stop!” Kiara yelled, at the top of her lungs. The fight kept going, and John B was still on the ground getting his face beaten up. John B tried to push the guy off of him, but it was impossible as the guy were on top of him, holding him down with all his weight.

Kiara knew she had to do something, so she ran into the circle and tried to push the guy off of John B. He gave her an angry look before pushing her aside, making her fall down in the sand.

“Get up, Russell” a familiar voice said. Kiara got up from the sand to see JJ pushing himself to the front of the scene. Russell responded with a dissatisfied look before hitting John B one more time. Blood was dripping from his nose, his eyes dazed and breathing heavy.

“Yeah, that’s enough” JJ mumbled, clenching his fists. He ran up to Russell and aimed his fist at the bridge of his nose. Blood splattered on the sand, making Russell clutch his nose. He looked at JJ with a confused and angry look, gritting his teeth while pinching his nose to hold back the flow of blood.

“You don’t hit someone who's already on the ground” JJ said, while shaking the pain of his bruised knuckles. 

He grabbed Russell's polo shirt pushing him off of John B.

“Fucking pussy” JJ said, his jaw clenched.

Russell kept staring at JJ, blood dripping down his hand. JJ stared back and when he’d realized that JJ wouldn’t give up, Russell took off with a couple of friends.

JJ turned to John B, with Sarah on his side helping him sit up. 

He held out his hand which John B quickly accepted.

“Thanks man” he mumbled.

“Stay out of trouble” he said, with a spark in his eye and a little smile.

John B laughed, still slightly dazed.

“Next time I’m gonna let him kick your ass” he teased.

He patted John B on the shoulder, before leaving the circle. 

Kiara couldn’t stop herself from running after him.

“JJ” she shouted.

He kept going. Maybe he even sped up.

She caught up to him as he walked along the shore.

He decided to stop, but he didn’t turn around to look at her.

“JJ” she said softly.

She closed her hand around his wrist, making him pull out of her grip and face her.

She saw a flash of longing across his face before it was gone in an instant.

“I got something for you” she almost whispered. She dug her hand into her pocket, pulling out a handmade bracelet with a silver turtle pendant. The motive was slightly feminine, but the leather bands definitely made it look more masculine. She looked expectantly at him, also a little nervous if he would like it.

She got him this present when she was in Indonesia, because he had always made fun of her affection for turtles and the sea in general.

“Is this some kind of pity present? Did you feel guilty when you left without even telling me? I would’ve expected John B to pull a Houdini, but never had I expected you to. At least, he had the courage to say goodbye” he spoke through his teeth with forced restraint.

She closed her fingers around the bracelet, hiding it in her hand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was so important to you. I didn’t know that you needed me to say goodbye” Kiara answered in a quiet voice.

She felt so bad that it made her stomach ache, and the look in his eyes was devastating. He was really hurt, and it hurt her too, because she cared so deeply for him.

He took a step closer to her and in a low, husky voice he said “I needed you to stay”

Her eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. His trembling lips almost made her cry on the spot, but it was when she saw the tears in his eyes that she couldn’t hold back anymore. His tears never left the corner of his eyes, and he bit his lip trying not to make them run down his cheeks.

Quickly, she wiped the teardrop off her cheek, and avoided his glance to prevent more tears from falling.

Her lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of her mouth “JJ, that’s selfish"

He shook his head with his sad eyes and clenched fists.

“I don’t care. Leaving without saying goodbye was selfish too”

Another tear fell down her cheek.

The silence snuck up on them, but he didn’t storm off like he sometimes did when he was vulnerable or uncomfortable.

Without even noticing they had gotten far away from the party, which was slowly dying out probably because of the fight.

She looked at him and knew that he would walk her home, because that was just the kind of guy he was.

…

They walked in silence all the way to her house. Sometimes Kiara tried to make eye contact with him, but he didn’t look at her, he just kept walking. His long windy hair was covering half of his face, and his eyes were constantly watching the ground in front of him. His hands were in his pockets, and all she could hear was his soft breathing.

They arrived at her house, JJ following Kiara all the way to stairs on the porch. She turned to him, and their glances collided.

He stood before her, eyes on the ground, the moon illuminating his golden skin. Despite his imposing figure he looked small. He rubbed at the soft skin of his wrist, where her bracelet would’ve been, almost as if he was missing something he had never had. 

“Goodnight, Kie” JJ said, before slowly turning around and heading home too.

She watched him for as long as she could, his silhouette disappearing in the night. 

Her phone kept beeping, and she noticed that she had gotten a lot of texts in the group chat with John B, Pope and Sarah. They couldn’t find her when the party died, and now they were worried where she was. She quickly responded that she was home, before heading to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you who have read the first two chapters, in the future I hope to update more frequently. I would love to hear your thoughts. Let me know what you think xx


	3. A door ajar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah gathered her friends at her house, when the door to her father’s office is suddenly wide open, which it shouldn’t be. After inspecting the office, John B decides to check in on JJ who had gone back to his father’s home; the friends following after. The night ends at The Chateau, where Kiara has gotten hope for bringing JJ closer to the group.

After work, Kiara went to The Chateau to get a ride to Sarah’s. Sarah had texted the whole group that they should come by and that it was important.

It was late in the afternoon and the last rays of the sun caressed her skin. The sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue skye, as she walked up to John B’s house.

She knocked on the door, before letting herself in. 

“Hey, John B” she greeted, before stopping abruptly.

Her eyes shifted between John B and JJ. She hadn’t expected him to be here, or to look at her like that. His eyes were sparkling with confidence, and he had a cocky smile on his lips. She thought he looked a little too happy considering the night before. JJ stood up for John B in that fight yesterday, which she was glad about, but him and Kiara also had a moment of truth that night.

He admitted that he was really hurt that she left without saying goodbye, even though Kiara already knew that. There was just something about the night and the atmosphere, that really made her understand how hurt he actually was. Kiara recalled the fragile look his eyes had, which was now nowhere to be found. He was wearing a smug attitude, that made it hard to imagine such vulnerability coming from him.

She was lost for words and didn’t know what else to say than “What are you doing here?”

He raised his eyebrows at her greeting. 

“Don’t worry I’m leaving now”

Instantly, Kiara regretted her outburst, as she didn’t want him to feel unwelcome.

JJ gave John B a quick shoulder clap, before shoving past Kiara and out of the door. She felt an instant spark as her skin brushed against his.

“JJ, can you please stay?” John B called after him. It made him turn around with a grin on his lips. He ran a hand through his hair before putting his hat back on. 

Kiara’s eyes darted between her friends. “What is going on?”

“JJ wants to stay with his father instead of here” John B sighed.

“Why?”

Kiara turned her focus to JJ, brows drawn together.

“Relax guys, my dad has gotten a lot better lately. Nothing to worry about”

There was no way she was going to stay calm. 

“I don’t trust him” she shook her head.

JJ’s glance turned soft, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Then trust me.”

His voice was low and husky, and so confident that she almost believed him. She looked at him with worried eyes, biting her lip. Once again Kiara shook her head. She couldn’t trust him either.

“Bye guys” JJ said, ignoring their concern about his father.

He left before they had a chance to respond.

Kiara looked at John B, who was rubbing his lower lip with his thumb. 

“I don’t trust him” she exclaimed.

John B’s eyes were distant, and he kept looking out of the front door as if JJ was still standing there.

“Neither do I”

Kiara put her arm over his shoulder, patting him comfortingly. John B sighed, before grabbing the car keys from the side table.

...

John B and Kiara met with Pope in front of the mansion. He was helping his father with a delivery nearby, meeting his friends on foot as that was easier than John B picking him up.

“Did Sarah tell you what it was about?” Kiara asked curiously. 

John B shook his head “No, she just said it was important.”

He tightened the scarf around his neck, ready for whatever she would tell them.

They walked up to the front door, John B ringing the doorbell when he reached it. Kiara looked at him; she couldn’t ignore the bruises on his left side of the face. She had been staring at them the whole ride, which strangely enough, hadn’t bothered him. If so, he hadn’t said anything.

Sarah opened the door, and pulled them inside.

“Come in.”

Kiara looked around impressed, even though she had been here hundreds of times before. The wall-to-wall windows and the high ceiling, made it look more spacious than it already was. The style was modern and minimalistic, which made Kiara think that it was way too empty. Everything had its place, everything was in order. Kiara looked at the flower vase on the side table. She wanted to move it, just a tiny bit, to create a little mess in their flawless home.

Sarah closed the door behind them, then rushed upstairs without saying a word. Kiara and John B looked at each other, both frowning. 

“What the fuck” Kiara mouthed to John B, who shrugged.

They went after her, making their way to the second floor. She was standing in front of a half-open door, eagerly waving her friends towards her. 

“Come on” she hurried.

They shared a worried look, before investigating together.

John B stood close to her, peaking inside the small gap between the door and the frame.

“What is it?” He asked, not knowing what to look for. Pope and Kiara pushed against John B and Sarah, also to peak through the gap. None of them dared to open the door fully so it would be easier to get a look inside, it had always been a prohibited zone. Even though Ward wasn’t around anymore and hadn’t been in sight for a whole year, they still wouldn’t dare invading his personal space.

“It’s my dad’s office” she said quietly.

John B nodded, “Yeah, I know?”

Sarah stared at the door, her look going distant.

“My dad always locks the door”

Pope shrugged “Guess he forgot?”

Sarah woke from her trance, frowning at Pope “No he wouldn’t forget. He’s the only one who has a key, and he even locks the door before going to the bathroom.” 

Her voice was sharp, making Pope hold up his hands in defence, quickly taking a step back.

"I think something is going on” she folded her hands, covering her mouth. Her eyes were panicking, and suddenly she started to pace up and down the hallway. John B reached out to touch Sarah’s arm, but she pulled away and continued marching.

“Sarah, I think you’re being paranoid” Kiara said.

It was meant to calm her, but looking back, Kiara knew it wasn’t the most calming thing she could’ve said.

“I’m not!” She exclaimed, stopping her pacing.

“Something is up and I’m really starting to freak out”

Everyone became silent. Kiara opened her mouth, trying to think of something to break the silence. Nothing came to mind.

“You think your father has been here?” Pope asked.

“No, he wouldn’t dare coming back”

“What else?”

“I think someone is looking for the blueprints” Sarah admitted.

She pointed to the room where a bunch of blueprints were lying on the desk, but maybe Ward had just left them like that?

“To where the gold is hidden?” Pope asked.

Sarah nodded “I think someone is looking for the gold”

Pope raised his eyebrows, trying to cover up his grin. He was about to say something but John B shot him a look. He ignored it.

“Well, they're going to be really sad that they spent all their time looking for something that is not there. They are just going to think it all was a myth and we don’t have to get involved in that crap again. Please Sarah, don’t make a big deal of it this” Pope begged with a pained laugh, hands together in a prayer.

Kiara could understand where he was coming from. His father dreamed of Pope going to college which he almost didn’t attend because he missed the interview, too caught up in finding the gold. Luckily, he got a second chance to nail the interview. Kiara knew she had to move on from the dangerous adventures and curiosity as well. She couldn’t get lost trying to figure out a new mystery, even though she was very snoopy.

John B had been strangely quiet, which definitely wasn't anything like him. Something was on his mind, she could tell by his pondering look.

“I’m also kind of tired of this treasure hunt. I’m gonna go back to The Chateau, feel free to join”

The light in Sarah’s eyes went out as both Pope and Kiara wanted to join John B rather than listen to her concerns. She followed the group to the van, head hanging low.

“I just have to make a quick stop” John B mumbled, hands placed on the wheel.

…

The Pogues went to JJ’s because of John B's earlier concerns. JJ had tried to convince John B and Kiara that there was nothing to worry about, but that only made them more anxious.

Kiara looked out of the window, watching the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of pink and red.

John B parked the van in front of the Maybank home. A certain smell polluted the air around the wooden cabin. They got out of the van, looking around to recall the memories of this place. Pope took a deep breath of the dirty air, before he made a grimace. Kiara could smell it too, which built up her concern. The smell was a mixture of alcohol and rotten wood.

“This is the only place I haven’t missed” Pope confessed.

John B nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, the sound of an argument disrupted their focus from the smell. Kiara’s heart pounded harder against her chest. She looked at John B with anxious eyes.

John B turned to Sarah and with a desperate look “Wait here”

“No, I’m going with you” she said instantly.

He took a deep breath “Please, it’s not the time to be stubborn just… wait out here”

If wasn’t often John B was so serious, but right now he was. Sarah had never been here before and she didn’t know how JJ’s father was. Kiara agreed with John B, it would be best if she stayed by the van.

She crossed her arms, looking away from him. He put his hands together in a praying motion “Thank you” he sighed.

John B, Pope and Kiara hurried to the backyard, to find JJ and his father on the closed patio. They sat in front of each other, voices suddenly increasing. 

“You’re on that shit again, aren’t you?” JJ exclaimed. 

He rushed up from his seat, towering over his father.

“Sit down you piece of shit” he answered, rubbing his temples. His face was red, and his eyes were distant. He coughed a couple of times, before he lit another cigarette. He looked stunned, the cigarette almost fell out of the corner of his mouth. His brown hair was slicked back by grease, and his shirt had stains on it probably from alcohol. 

JJ balled up his fists, gritting his teeth “I got you that money so you could pay your bills. What the fuck are you gonna do when the authorities show up and kick you out on the street? They already cut off your electricity" 

JJ proved his point by trying to turn on a lamp nearby.

“You’ll be homeless, but at least you got drugs. Right?”

Luke rose to meet him eye-to-eye. JJ clenching his jaw, eyes anxious.

“We should do something” Kiara mumbled, as she figured how this would end.

She took a couple of steps before Pope grabbed her hoodie and pulled her back.

“Are you dumb? He will hurt you too”

John B closed his eyes and took a deep breath “I’ll go”.

Slowly, he built up courage on his way to the patio. Meanwhile, Luke grabbed JJ by the collar, holding up a fist. “You think you’re so smart, huh?”

JJ scrunched up his face, waiting to take a punch. Out of habit, he turned his cheek. Almost as if he was okay with his father hitting him - like he deserved it.

John B froze on the spot, swallowing a lump in his throat. Kiara’s heart pounded faster, eyes widening. She fidgeted with her sweaty palms, didn’t understand why he had stopped. John B was never afraid of a fight, but apparently, he was afraid of Luke Maybank.

Since John B didn’t interrupt the fight that was about to escalate, Pope decided to do something. He picked up a small stone from the dirt and threw it towards the window. The stone was thrown directly into the thicket in front of the windows.

“How the fuck did you miss?!” She hissed. 

Pope scratched the back of his head, making a grimace. He threw his arms up and excused himself “I was on the math team okay?!” 

Kiara tried out Pope’s idea, and picked up another small stone. With all her power she threw it towards the window, this time hitting the glass and getting the Maybank’s attention. They both turned their glances to the backyard. Luke put JJ down, making him take a deep breath in relief.

“There’s someone I haven’t seen in a while. I thought you guys knew to stay away.”

“Are you threatening them?” JJ asked, face red from anger, frustration, and maybe even a bit of humiliation. “What’s wrong with you?”

Luke bared his teeth in a grimace. “You never know when to shut your mouth, boy,” he grinned manically. Then his fist hit JJ’s stomach with a sickening thump.

The boy stumbled backwards, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“Get out of here” his dad hissed, spitting on the ground.

JJ took some time to recover from the punch. Slowly, he stood up straight, leaving the house by storming off. He didn’t look at John B, Pope or Kiara. He kept his eyes straight ahead and didn’t say a word. They all turned around to look after him, and saw Sarah had snuck after them. She reached out to give JJ a hug, but he shoved her away.

She stood a couple of feet behind them, with sad and worried eyes that had seen everything. Kiara watched as John B’s look turned hard. He wasn’t pleased with Sarah ignoring his command about staying by the van. He shook his head in disappointment before going after JJ. The rest of the group followed.

JJ sank to the ground, with his back against the cold metal of the van. His breathing was fast as if he had been strangled and finally could breathe again. He had a distant look in his eyes, avoiding any eye contact his friends tried to make.

They looked back and forth from each other. Kiara had expected John B to do something, but contrary to expectations, Pope sat down in front of him, placing his hands on each of his shoulders. 

“We’re here for you” he hugged him tightly, taking him by surprise. 

He stiffened in his embrace, and a sheepishly little smile formed on his lips. He didn’t shove Pope away like he did with Sarah, but he also didn’t hug him back either. 

Pope pulled out of the hug, and took a step back to give JJ some space. “Come on. Let’s get out of here,” he said, gently ruffling JJ’s hair. The other boy half-heartedly pushed him away, but there was a softness to his expression that wasn’t there before.

“Yeah, alright,” JJ mumbled. “Let’s go."

…

When they arrived at John B’s, they were all exhausted from a long and confusing day.

Kiara felt this feeling of finally being home. It felt more safe, when everyone was together at The Chateau.

Kiara looked around the cabin, and found one person missing. She exited the house to find JJ on the porch, staring at the midnight blue sky. She walked up to him as he casually leaned against the wooden wall of the house. He took a big swig of his beer when she approached. She looked up at the sky, where the stars lit up the night. She didn’t say anything. She just leaned against his shoulder, making him look down at her for a moment. She noticed JJ’s face scrunching up, as if he was trying to suppress a frown. 

She was glad he was back; couldn’t hide her affection for him. He took another sip of his beer and decided to let her head rest on him.

The sound of the night was louder than their thoughts. In the distance they could hear the grasshopper’s orchestra with the frogs croaking along. They both stared into nothingness, and Kiara wondered why he let her stand so close to him. JJ used to shove people away, claiming he wasn’t much of a hugger. Only John B and sometimes Pope, were lucky enough to feel his embrace. But now, she was snuggled into his shoulder, breathing calmly.

Still with her chin on his shoulder, she looked him in his eyes. His soft look made her feel comfortable, and also surprised that he hadn’t shoved her away yet. Her breath caught in her throat, her gaze wandered to his lips just inches away. She sent him a little smile, before removing her glance from him. He looked down too, clenching the can in his hand.

“Do you want to go back inside?” He asked.

She instantly shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She wanted to stay out here in silence, and appreciate that after all this time, things could still go back to how they were. JJ was the only missing piece, to get the group back together. Him being here now, gave her hope for things would go back to before. Before the false accusations of John B, before the disappearing of Ward, before the kiss with Pope, before finding the gold; before even looking for it.

“I’m gonna go back inside” he said quietly.

“Okay” she mumbled.

She heard the door close behind her, then sat down on the stairs to the porch.

He left her outside, but she almost didn’t mind. She wasn’t alone, because of the thousand of stars lighting up the dark sky. There was room for deep thoughts, which she had a lot of lately. She was wondering what choices in life had brought her here. Would she change anything if she was able to? Probably. She picked up a twig from the ground, and began to peel the bark off. She tilted her head skyward, slowly falling into the night.

Her thoughts and worries burned into smoke when she heard the door open behind her.

“Why are you sitting out here alone?” Pope asked, before taking a seat next to her.

“Just thinking” she answered, her eyes locked on the twig between her fingertips.

“About?”

“Anything.”

“Our kiss?”

No actually, for once she didn’t think about that until he brought it up. Thanks. 

She threw the twig on the ground, looking down at her hands. 

“What did it mean to you? I was really confused when you kissed me, and then we didn’t talk for a whole year”

Her glance softened and she looked at him with wide eyes full of compassion “I’m sorry”.

As the words left her lips, the feeling of guilt stopped haunting her. It was like it left her body and made her heart lighter. 

She was so tired of thinking about the kiss and the awkward tension between them. Now she could finally breathe around him.

Pope didn’t need a further answer to his question. From the look in her eyes, he saw she was sorry for all the things she didn’t feel about him. He nodded slightly.

Kiara thought it would had been so much easier if there had been obstacles in their way that couldn’t let them be together, an excuse she could use so she wouldn’t hurt his feelings. There were none. Truth was that she just didn’t feel anything around him. She loved him, but she wasn’t _in love_ with him.

She looked to the stars and promised herself to make better choices next time around.

“Do you want to go back inside?” She asked, just like JJ did when he wanted to escape.

Pope nodded, before getting on his feet. He held out his hand to help her stand up. She accepted the offer, and put her hands in his. He got her onto her feet, at the second the door flew open.

“Guys, I’m about to tell the story about why my dad almost beat my ass today” JJ grinned in a overstrung tone that wasn’t appropriate - at all. 

He looked down at their hands with a confused look. He chuckled, his gaze lingering at them for just a moment too long. Kiara quickly pulled her hands to herself, while Pope folded his hands behind his back and turned his eyes to the ground. Finally JJ looked away and cleared his throat.

“Hey-“ he said, to light up the tone. 

A small laugh broke through his lips “No Pogue-on-Pogue-macking.”

Kiara forced a smile, before biting her lip.

His smile faded, looking to the ground for a moment.

“Come on, let’s go inside”

JJ tugged Pope’s t-shirt, then patted him gently on the back to shove him inside.

They dropped down into the shabby couches, making themselves comfortable in the threadbare cushions and garnetted blankets. JJ had their full attention, as they waited for him to tell why he even was at his father’s house. Their eyes wide, sitting on the edge of the couches with blankets pulled up to their chins, as they were waiting for a horror story to be told. The night had turned to complete darkness, which made Kiara tug her feet onto the couch, covering them with her blanket.

“So-“ JJ started “Turns out people don’t like when you beat their friends”.

Kiara giggled at his sarcastic comment, as if what he was saying wasn’t obvious. However John B didn’t find it funny and gave him a meaningful look, clearly expecting him to be more serious. JJ and Kiara shared a glance, both of them wiping away their smiles.

“You defended John B” Sarah excused.

Everyone saw that. He definitely wasn’t the bad guy here. Kiara hated when the boys got in trouble and got all the blame just because they were Pogues. Apparently the Kooks were never to blame.

“God, they must hate Pogues” Kiara sighed, rolling her eyes.

JJ’s eyes gleamed with mischief, then he grinned “No, they just hate John B” .

Sarah couldn’t help but giggle, spilling some of her drink on her top.

“Oh my god” she laughed.

She pushed her way past John B, heading straight to the kitchen to get some paper towels. Sarah eagerly tried to wipe away the rum and coke stains on her pink shirt, but without luck.

JJ looked to John B, continuing his sentence.

“They think you're insane, since you were so caught up in finding a treasure that didn't exist. There has been a lot of talk about you and your father while you’ve been gone”

John B leaned casually back in the couch, laying one arm on the back of it.

“They should know how loaded I am”

He shrugged the Kooks' thoughts off him, keeping a confident look on his face. For a brief moment, Kiara was wondering if the gold got to his head sometimes? She didn’t know, because she hadn’t seen him in so long. Was he still the humble best friend she once had? She hoped so.

“You know that you can never tell them that you found the gold, right?” Pope asked.

“I hate being secretly rich” he mumbled.

“Anyways-“ JJ cut in and stole the group’s attention back. “To get back to the point… Russell’s friend Jeremy kicked me out, and I didn’t now where else to go”

“I told you to stay here” John B’s gaze met JJ’s, pleading with him.

“Yeah, I know. I guess I was too stubborn and didn’t want you to take care of me. I can take care of myself. Also I was kind of curious to see how my dad was doing. You saw how that went” His eyes dropped to the ground, his cocky attitude falling to pieces.

“I know you can take care of yourself, you’ve always done that” John B said on a soft breath.

JJ sent him a cautious little smile.

…

Everyone were starting to get tired, and suddenly the plan was to crash at John B’s. John B and Sarah had retired to his father’s bedroom, while Pope and JJ offered to crash on the couches so Kiara could sleep in a comfortable bed. She closed the door and used her flashlight on her phone to find her way to the bed. The room was smaller than she remembered and she hit her knee on the wooden bed. 

“Shit” she winced, trying to be quiet.

She dropped her clothes in a pile on the floor and slid under the sheets. The darkness in the room blended into the darkness outside. The night was silent, only the low voices belonging to her friends interrupted the buzzing from the mosquitoes. She closed her eyes.

A knock on the door made her wide awake. The door slowly opened, revealing a silhouette in the doorway. Kiara knew exactly who it belonged to and didn’t hesitate to say “Come in”.

She looked up just as JJ entered the room, unbuttoning his shirt. She caught a glimpse of his chest and swallowed. 

“Can I sit?” He asked.

“Yeah” Kiara nodded and moved a little to make some room. She had a hard time trying to focus because of his chiseled chest that his shirt covered only half of. He caught her in her daze, making her cheeks turn red.

Carefully, he sat down on the bedside turning his body to her. She tugged the sheets to up under her chin and covered up her body as she was only in underwear. She tried to tell herself that underwear practically covered the same as a bikini, which JJ had seen her in uncountable times. This was just different.

“I was wondering-“ he said.

Kiara’s thoughts ran wild. Was he wondering about her and Pope? Was he wondering why she left without saying goodbye. Was he wondering why she was so obsessed with reuniting him with the group? She took a deep breath to steady herself.

“I was wondering if you still had that bracelet?”

She lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

“So you want my pity present now?” She asked with a smile. It was meant to be funny, but he didn’t even give her a smile. 

JJ ignored her teasing, and kept his serious face.

“Yeah, I’d love it” he said without blinking.

“Why did you come in here to ask me about it? Couldn’t it wait?”

Kiara sat up in the bed, pulling the sheets with her to cover up. She crossed her arms to make sure the duvet didn’t fall down. She might had come off a little more unforgiving than she wanted.

“I didn’t want to ask for it in front of the others and make them jealous” he said with a cheeky smile that rubbed off on her too. Actually, she thought it would be for the best, if JJ didn’t mention his present to the others. She didn’t want them to question why he was the only one getting a gift.

As he said it, they heard rummaging from the living room where Pope and JJ were supposed to sleep. As if Kiara and JJ were doing something they shouldn’t be doing, they both went silent. They looked to the door, peeking through the small gap to the hallway. Suddenly, there was silence again.

Kiara laughed quietly, continuing their conversation “of course you wouldn’t”

“So do you have it?” JJ asked softly, leaning slightly towards her. She could tell he was impatient, but he was really trying to wait.

“Actually I’m wearing it” She stretched her arm towards him, revealing the leather bracelet on her wrist. It was a little too big for her and it didn’t really suit her other feminine handmade jewelry. 

“You can have it” she said, and opened the lock. He moved his wrist closer to her and she locked the bracelet. He turned his wrist around a couple of times to admire it. It fit him perfectly - like it was made for him. She could feel her face burning as she turned her look from the bracelet to JJ. He gave her an appreciative smile, then changed the subject.

“I don’t wanna keep you up any longer”

He stood up from the bed, and was about to exit the room. He hesitated at the barely-open door, letting in some light from the hallway. 

“Goodnight, Kie”

She sent him a little smile.

“Goodnight, JJ.”

After the bedroom door closed behind him, Kiara stared at her wrist where his bracelet no longer was. A soft giggle escaped her lips, happy that the bracelet was now returned to its rightful owner.

She closed her eyes once again, falling into a deep sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work written in English, I apologize for any mistakes :)


End file.
